I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
