I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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