i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
