Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
