yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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