i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
