Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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