He disabled his match.com account in front of me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize