I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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