KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
