I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
