16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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