I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
