maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
