Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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