For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You're like the curious george of whores
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
