are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
