weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
