How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she told me i tasted like america
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
