So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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