I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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