I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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