He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
