I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
