just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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