Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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