sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
