whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
