I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
