The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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