Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize