I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She told me I should be a condom model.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
