we're blogging at a bar
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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