I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Vodka?
Forever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
