Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
