Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
