Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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