She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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