So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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