God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think people are normalizing furries
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
