Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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