Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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