Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
