If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
