It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
