The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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