Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
