I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize