I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
the raccoons are back...
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