my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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