yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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