My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
