Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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