I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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