How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
