I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We don't watch enough power rangers
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
