i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
