She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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