you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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