At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
