Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
