She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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